The New Recruits: Cha Cha Changes
by speedfanatic05
Summary: They just lost RJ and now the team is faced with carrying on with a new ballistics guy as well as some marked changes in Jacinda and Tim. Third installment of the New Recruits. NOW COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

The New Recruits: Cha- Cha- Changes

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone of the principal characters, but I own all of the new recruits and Maura Stetler.

A/N: I don't know, I just feel compelled to keep going with this. I think it will be interesting to see how everyone deals with RJ's death ( for once , it's not Tim's).

Chapter 1

Jacinda walked into the lab with a slow gait, unsure if she wanted to even be here. It had been a month since they put RJ in the ground and she wasn't feeling very much up for work. Nor did it seem like anyone else was either. She passed by the break room where everyone was congregated and seeing their dour demeanor decided to keep going. She didn't know if she could handle any more questions about how she was doing. She had already felt sick enough of that.

As she passed by the trace lab, she saw Speed as he was frantically looking for something. The memories of calling him that fateful day replayed in her mind as she watched from the door. The sadness had enveloped him immediately and hadn't let go of him yet. She put her hand on the door, but then reneged, but not before Speed had glanced up. He stopped what he was doing and walked over to the door and pushed it open. From a distance, Tim Speedle looked no worse for the wear, but up close, Jacinda could see just how much of a toll all of this was taking on him. He had stopped shaving and apparently stopped caring about his clothes as well, they being rumpled much more than usual. And his usually expressive brown eyes that reminded Jacinda so much of RJ, had dulled considerably. He was half the man he used to be.

" Jacinda, I didn't get the chance to call you last night, I'm sorry. I got held up here," Speed said as he apologized.

" Oh it's okay, Mr. Speedle," Jacinda replied as she gazed at him. She could see RJ through and through. " I really wasn't feeling well anyway. What did you find?"

" Jacinda, I told you it's Speed . None of that Mr. Speedle stuff," Speed said with a hint of humor.

" Sorry, Mr. - uh Speed. What did you find?" Jacinda asked again.

" The plants that were found were apart of a tree that is grown mainly in the northern parts of New Hampshire. There's no way that this could survive down here with this humidity," Speed said as he gestured to the scopes. " So our perp traveled from New Hampshire to do his dirty work."

" Oh well that will explain why I couldn't find his prints on AFIS. I'll widen my search when I get to fingerprinting," Jacinda said as she felt her stomach flip. For a long time she had been experiencing nausea and she wondered if she was getting something.

Speed noticed and asked, " Jacinda, are you okay?"

" I just get sick from time to time. It seems like it's gotten worse since..." Jacinda started.

" Since RJ," Speed finished as he glanced at the floor. Everything had gotten worse since his son died. Robin had left him and he wasn't what he used to be. He didn't know how to function now, his life had been ripped to shreds in one fail swoop. He shook himself out of his funk and shifted his attention back to Jacinda. " Have you gone to the doctor? It could be something serious."

" I have an appointment today. That's why I wanted to get started. Maddison said I could take the rest of the day if I could get this done. But I won't. We are already short handed as it is. Poor mom is drowning in case files in firearms," Jacinda replied wistfully. As much as they needed the help, Jacinda figured that Maddison had left the position vacant in honor of RJ. But Jacinda knew that one day, someone would have to take the position, so she was trying to prepare herself to square with that.

Speed sighed heavily and again glanced down to the floor. It was like he didn't know what to say anymore. He wanted to share with Jacinda, but when opened his mouth, nothing came forward but sobs. Jacinda noticed and put a hand on his forearm trying to ward off her own tears. This had not gotten any easier for them.

" Speed," Jacinda said softly. " Why don't we go to lunch today. Get our minds off of this case, and talk. When's the last time you've done that for yourself?"

Speed looked at her through his tears that felt so heavy and drop his head , letting a small smile appear.

" I would like that a lot, Jacinda."

" Okay , so it's official. Lunch at twelve thirty. I should be back before then," Jacinda said as she turned to walk out.

" Jacinda."

" Yes?"

" Thanks."

Jacinda nodded as she pushed the door open and walked through. Suddenly the pain in her heart didn't hurt as much.

TNR

Maddison opened the door to the layout room with a heavy heart. Not a moment had passed that she didn't think about what was lost, what they had all lost. But even at that, she still had a job to do and a lab to run, despite what she felt and what she knew her team was going through.

As she set her eyes on them sitting at the table, she felt an overwhelming sense of joy that even through the pain of losing one of their own, they were still dedicated to their jobs. She knew that RJ would never be replaced in their hearts and memories, which made what she had to do much more harder . She cleared her throat as she started to speak.

" Good morning everyone. Before we get started, I have some news. It's been a month since we lost RJ and Calleigh has been back logged severely, so I thought that it was time that the position be filled."

Everyone dropped their heads, except Jacinda who continued to gaze at Maddison. She held a look of confusion as Maddison continued to talk, barely hearing a word that was being said. Jacinda shook herself out of it and glanced over to Speed who had began to get up.

" Speed, is there anything wrong?" Maddison asked as she saw him walking to the door.

" I need some air," Speed said as he pulled the door open roughly and walked out. Maddison exhaled and allowed the moment to pass.

" As I was saying, he starts today, so I would like for everyone to pull together and help him out," Maddison said as she opened the door. " Everyone, meet Rory Hutchinson."

Jacinda walked up to Rory and offered her hand with a smile , " Rory, I'm Jacinda Willison. I work in fingerprinting and underwater recovery. That's Eric Delko, I work with him, his daughter, Jen Delko, trace, and the fellow that you saw walking out was Tim Speedle, trace. And you'll be working with my mother, Calleigh Willison in firearms."

Rory took her hand and smiled at the introductions , " Wait, you are all related?"

" Yes, Calleigh is my mother and RJ, ...was Tim Speedle's son."

" Look, I'm sorry about that. It's a tragedy when it happens to us," Rory said as he noticed Jacinda's diminished enthusiasm.

Maddison handed them their assignments and left, leaving the team to get acquainted with their newest member.

TNR

Speed kicked the elevator doors as he waited for them to open._ It's too soon,_ he thought angrily. He hadn't been gone more than a month and already, they were replacing him. He wanted to get away but he knew that he had to stay and finish his work, so he pressed the button to his trace lab and waited as the lift made it's way up.

When the doors opened, he made a bee line to the trace lab and settled down at his station. He reached for the head phones that were collecting dust on his desk and slipped them on his ears. He hadn't done this in a long time, but he couldn't help what he was feeling , he had to think, and the only way he could think was to shut himself off from the world. As the music blasted from the phones, he could feel as the world slipped away from him , and nothing else mattered.

* * *

Jacinda glanced at th clock in the doctor's office and sighed heavily, 11:30. She had already been back there once to take blood and urine tests, then they instructed her to come back out and wait for the doctor to call her back. While she waited, she flipped nonchalantly through a magazine, here mind where it was always, on RJ. She remembered the day that he died, the words that he had said to her before slipping away, 

_" I love you..."_

What she wouldn't give to hear his voice once more, or to feel his touch. Jacinda was haunted by those words every night that she crawled into the bed that they had shared just that once. Those memories flooded her senses as well,

_"What time is it?"_

_" Almost six. We've got to hurry or we'll be late. You want breakfast?"_

_"Not really. What happened last night?"_

_" You mean to tell me that you don't remember?..."_

"Jacinda Willison," the nurse called.

Jacinda came back to the present upon hearing her name , and got up to follow the nurse to the back. When she got to a room, the nurse motioned for her to enter and to take a seat.

" Dr. Jones will be just a moment," the nurse said sweetly. Jacinda nodded and smiled as the door closed. She had to wonder what was up. Usually , she didn't have to wait so long.

Minutes passed before the doctor opened the door and entered carrying a chart. Daphne Jones was a petite woman with sandy brown hair and sparkling blue eyes. Jacinda always felt at ease when coming here, which she had done since she was a teenager. So they had an easy relationship.

" So, Jacinda, how are we doing today?" Dr. Jones asked as she sat down near her.

" Fine, it's just that I've been getting stomach aches for about a month now. They seemed to have gotten worse since I lost RJ," Jacinda replied as she glanced at the doctor. She could've sworn she saw a hint of sadness in her eyes briefly.

" Have you been talking about RJ a lot today?"

" We got a replacement at work. His name is Rory Hutchinson. He's nice and all, but..."

" He's not RJ," the doctor finished as she opened the file.

" Yeah," Jacinda returned sheepishly. She had a feeling that her doctor was stalling. " Hey doc, can you go ahead and tell me what's going on?"

Dr. Jones smiled and shook her head, " I never could put one pass you, Jacinda. Well do you want the good news or bad."

" I'll take the bad news first," Jacinda said nervously.

" Well the bad news is that, you'll be out of work in about eight months..."

" Eight months? Why what's wrong?"

" Jacinda, you didn't let me finish. You'll be out of work in eight months because you'll be preparing to have a baby."

" A ba- baby? But how, I mean ... I'm pregnant?"

" Yes, Jacinda," the doctor said with a smile, " you're about a four weeks along give or take a few days. Congratulations!"

Jacinda sat in the chair speechless. She was pregnant.

" Now, I expect for you to come to your prenatal appointments and to take care of yourself and the baby. Who are you going to get to help you?"

" Mr. Speedle," Jacinda said before she thought. How could she volunteer him for something like this.

" How do you think he will handle the news of his late son's child?"

" I- I don't know. I don't know how I am going to handle this myself," Jacinda said as she put her hand to her stomach. Her eyes filled with tears at the thought of having a piece of RJ with her.

" Well give me a call if you need anything, Jacinda. Other than that we are through here. Make your next appointment when you check out, okay?" Dr. Jones said as she got up. She put a hand on Jacinda's shoulder before walking out, " Congratulations again, Jacinda. You are going to make a wonderful mother."

Jacinda smiled at the thought and let the tears drop. She was going to be a mother.

TBC...

A/ N: oh boy :)

A/N#2: you like the new ballistics guy? I just couldn't help myself... :)


	2. Chapter 2

Cha- Cha- Changes

Chapter 2

After leaving the doctor's office, Jacinda knew of only one place that she had to go. She drove her car through the winding roads of the cemetery, all the while thinking about the baby that she had inside of her. What would she tell him/ her about their father? The father that would never see them, or hold them. As she came to a stop she glanced at the hill where he was laid to rest and then back down again. She had been up here only once after he had been buried and even then , it was almost too hard to bear. She got out and started walking up , feeling the breeze as it blew from off of the Atlantic. Coming to his stone, she looked down at the patches of brown dirt that were still visible , he hadn't been gone long enough for the grass to grow back. Kneeling, she wiped a tear from her eye as she lightly touched the stone.

_Robert J. Speedle _

_September 15, 2005- August 24, 2027_

_Beloved Son, Brother_

" I got some news ,hot shot... I'm pregnant," Jacinda whispered emotionally. She didn't know why, but she felt like this was still just between her and him. " I'm happy, but I don't know what to do. Why couldn't you be here, RJ? For us..."

Jacinda let the tears take over her body as she sat on her bottom and made herself comfortable. She needed to have this time with him. She wanted to scream at him for being so impulsive, she wanted to hit him for not taking his life, their life together, in consideration. Above any thing , she wanted him to just be here.

Settling down, she wiped the tears away and sighed heavily. A million questions milled around in her head as she continued to stare at the headstone. None of them she wanted to give pause to, knowing that they would do nothing but remained unanswered. There was no answer as to why he had to die. He had a full life and someone to share it with, why did he feel the need to go out and risk it? Jacinda let the thoughts and questions die down before she checked her watch. Noticing that it was close to twelve thirty, she smiled lightly and got up.

" I'm taking your father out for lunch. He needs it more than I do," Jacinda said as she wiped the dust off of her pants. She glanced at his name etched in the cold granite, and let one more tear fall, " I miss you , RJ." Putting her fingers to her lips , she kissed them and touched the stone. She then turned and walked away, not looking back.

TNR

Speed was working on his case when the door opened. At first he chose to ignore it, but then he realized that he was supposed to be going to lunch with Jacinda and he glanced up with a plastered on smile. The smile quickly dropped as he saw who had come in.

" Uh, Mr.Speedle, Calleigh sent me in to get the results of the sample from the bullet," Rory said uneasily. He had been properly warned by Jen and her father that he should tread easy with Speed.

Looking back down at his work, he said gravely, " It was biological, I sent it to DNA."

Rory nodded and turned to go out, but then hesitated. He wanted him to know that he wasn't trying to take his son's place. " Mr. Speedle, I just wanted to say that I 'm sorry for your lost."

Speed continued to work, choosing not to respond to him.

" You've got to know that I'm not here to replace RJ, just to continue on with the work that he was doing..."

Speed set his tools down and closed his eyes, breathing deeply. He didn't want to talk to this man, and he sure as hell didn't want to hear how ' sorry he was for his loss'.

" I hope to work with you..."

" Rory, leave," Speed said with his back to him.

"Mr.Speedle,..."

" I said, leave."

Rory turned around silently and walked out of trace, feeling his heart beating inside of his chest violently. That was something he wasn't going to do anymore.

TNR

"Maddison!" Maura Stetler called as Maddison quickly passed her in the corridors of the lab. She had been trying for weeks to get Maddison alone, but since losing one of her own and Detective Salas, she had been a hard person to keep track of.

Maddison turned around at the mention of her name and sighed inwardly. She really wasn't in the mood to deal with Maura at that moment, but she knew that it was better to get it over with.

She waited until Maura had caught up with her before she asked, " What can I do for you,

Maura?"

" As you know, the deadline for the thirty day assessments of your new team has passed. This is something that I must take care of now."

" Maura, a lot of things have happened. We are still trying to recover from two deaths. And as you may or may not know, crime never takes a day off. Without RJ, we've been running ragged."

" You have the authority to hire someone else, Maddison. I'm surprised that you hadn't done it by now," Maura said as she glanced at her files.

" I did, and he started this morning," Maddison returned as she peeked at her watch.

"Good, now on to the business at hand. I need Jacinda Willison to report to my office this afternoon."

" She's off for the rest of the day," Maddison said as she glanced again at her watch. There had to be something better she could be doing instead of standing in the middle of the lab, talking to her.

" For someone who needs a lot of help,..."

" Maura, she wasn't feeling well. I told her to go to her appointment after she finished some preliminary reports, which she did. If we don't allow our people to take care of themselves, then how well are they going to perform on their job?" Maddison said frustrated. She had grown tired of this conversation, quickly.

" Speaking of which, has she gone to her mandatory counseling session? I know for a fact that Detective Speedle hasn't gone, a matter that I will leave to you to take care of."

" I'll take care of it Maura. Anything else I could do for you?"

" Yes, send Jen Delko to my office, or is she off today as well?" Maura asked almost condescending.

Maddison kept herself in check as she answered, " Is three o'clock good for you?"

" Yes, perfect."

" She'll be there," Maddison said as she turned on her heels and walked away. She walked quickly to the elevators, trying to figure out a way to avoid Maura altogether.

TNR

"So , what do you think of the new guy?" Eric asked Calleigh as they settled into the break room for lunch. Calleigh looked at Eric with a smile on her face.

" Well, I think he's going to be good for the lab,"she returned as she opened the bottle of water and sat down, " but Tim's going to have a hard time with it."

" How so?"

" I know how he thinks, Eric. He thinks that Rory's here to take RJ's place."

" That's not true, you needed the help," Eric rationalized.

" You're preaching to the choir, Eric. I know that , but for Tim, RJ's death is too new. Plus, Robin left him. So he has a lot to deal with right now. His life has changed drastically in the matter of weeks," Calleigh said sympathetically. She had tried to be there for him, but he refused it. Calleigh knew that he would come around when he wanted to.

" How is he dealing with this?" Eric asked taking a huge bite of his sandwhich. " I mean, it's bad enough to lose your son, but to have your wife walk out on you in the same month? It's a little much."

" Have you seen him lately?" Calleigh said as she put the bottle down on the table. She hadn't heard the door to the break room open , " he's completely forgotten about himself and others around him. I'm... Oh hi Tim!"

Speed stood at the door, glaring at them both. There was nothing worse, to him ,than being talked about behind his back.

" Speed, how are you doing?" Eric asked trying to thaw the situation.

" Ask her, she seems to know a lot," Tim replied in a irritated tone as he shot a cold look to Calleigh. He grabbed a bottled water and drunk it down quickly.

" Tim , I didn't mean it in a bad way..."

" Save it Calleigh. You know , a real friend would come and talk to_ me._ Not discuss me with someone else," Tim said as he yanked the door open angrily and walked out. Calleigh and Eric glanced at each other and then dropped their heads. This was not the way they wanted to help their friend.

Out in the hall, Speed ran into Jacinda as she was fumbling in her bag . She dropped the bag and cursed out loud, eliciting some stares.

Speed bent down to pick up the bag and returned it to her, " Hey, you dropped this."

" Thanks, Mr.- uh Speed. I was just coming to look for you. Are you ready for that lunch?"

" Yeah, I just have to finish some thing first. Walk me to the trace lab?" Speed asked feeling a smile come to his face. There was something different about her since this morning.

" Sure, but hurry it up, I'm starving," Jacinda returned as they began to walk. Soon they were at the trace lab. Speed hurried in and grabbed his keys and turned out the lights.

" Any place in particular you want to go to?"

" Not really? Any ideas?"

" I got a few," Speed replied as he turned the lock on the trace lab.

"Can I trust you?" Jacinda asked lightly.

" Does this look like a face that would fool you?" Speed said humorously.

" Maybe you need to ask me that at a later date," Jacinda laughed as she motioned to Speed's beard. The sound of her laughter felt alien to her ears. There had not been a cause to laugh since a month had passed.

They got onto the elevator and rode the lift down to the garage. As they left, they both felt free from their pain for a slight moment.

TBC...

A/N: I know what you are thinking, but ewww no! They are not hooking up. I have some thing in store for both Tim and Jacinda... stay tuned!


	3. Chapter 3

Cha- Cha- Changes

Chapter 3

Pulling up to the restaurant, Speed glanced over at Jacinda. There had definitely been a change in her since this morning. It was one that he was happy to see. She was too young to be strapped with the burden of grieving and it made him feel as if he was honoring RJ by trying his hardest to be there for her. It was what his son would've wanted . As the valet took the car , he looked up to see Robin coming out of the door with Mallory . It had been a long month since she had walked out of his life, leaving him to grieve his son's death alone. She walked past him without even glancing at him, he noticing that the shine that she had was gone. Mallory turned around and stopped, not sure of who she was seeing.

" Daddy? Is that you?" Mallory asked as Robin stopped a few feet ahead of her with her head down.

Speed looked at his daughter , feeling his emotions welling inside of him and took her into an embrace. Robin turned around and came to where they were standing , and watched with a hint of anger in her expression. Speed looked to Jacinda then back to Mallory and hugged her again.

" Jacinda, it's Mallory."

" Hi, Mallory , how are you?" Jacinda asked with a smile on her face as Mallory left her father's arms and walked over to her. Mallory opened her arms for a hug.

" Good, how are you holding up?"

" Today, it's good."

" Yeah , I know what you mean," Mallory said as she glanced over at her mother and father. "Today's been a good day for her too. But sometimes, it gets hard to deal with her."

Robin glanced at Mallory as Speed stood in front of her, " Tim."

"Robin, how have you been?" Speed asked quietly.

" My son, is dead, Tim. How do you think I've been?" Robin spat.

" Robin, we never got to talk about this..."

" There's nothing really to talk about, Timothy. I told you that I was never going to forgive you if something happened to RJ. Three days later, he died, and you weren't even there."

" Robin , don't think you are the only one who is hurting."

" I can't deal with you right now, Tim. I don't know if I ever want to deal with you again."

"Robin..."

" I've filed for divorce, Timothy," Robin said bluntly. " You should be served with the papers soon."

" Why did you do that?"

" Losing RJ was the worst thing that has ever happened to me, Tim. And I can't live with being married to the person I hold responsible for his death. I'm taking Mallory and going back to England."

" You can't do that, Robin! She's my daughter too."

" And it's her that I am thinking about. I want to get her away from all of this, I want her to be safe," Robin said as the tears came. " I can't assure her safety here."

"And you can in England? I would never let anything happen to her..."

" What if something happens to you? How am I supposed to tell her that she has lost a father to the same thing that took her brother?"

" And running off to England is going to change that I am her father?"

" It's best for both of us, Timothy. I'm through talking to you," Robin said as she turned to walk away.

" Robin, wait..."

" Mallory, we are going," Robin called as she turned to her and Jacinda. She didn't smile at Jacinda , just merely glancing in her direction.

" Mom,..."

" Mallory Beatrice, I said we're leaving."

Mallory glared at her mother then walked to her, waving at Jacinda as they left. Jacinda joined Speed at the door, seeing the distress that had once again took residence in his eyes. She grabbed him by the arm and pulled him to the door.

" You want to talk about it?" Jacinda asked as they waited to be seated. She watched as he put his hand up to his eyes and massaged them. " It will help."

He looked up at her and smiled lightly. In so many ways she was like her mother, always willing to help. He thought briefly about his encounter with Calleigh in the break room and realized that he had been a little too hard on her. She was just expressing her concern.

"Maybe later. I want to hear about your doctor's appointment," Speed said as they were led to their seats. Speed nodded at the waiter as he brought the menus over.

" Do you guys need a minute?" the waiter asked with his pen poised.

" Yeah give us a moment," Speed said glancing over his menu. The waiter turned and walked away leaving them. " So about that appointment."

Jacinda glanced nervously to the menu and the floor. She had made up her mind to tell Speed that she was pregnant with RJ's baby, but now it was harder than it seemed in her car.

" I have some news, Speed."

Speed glanced up from the menu almost afraid to look in her eyes. He didn't want to see what could possibly be swimming in them. " Go on."

" It's not bad news, just surprising ."

"I'm listening," Speed said. She was the closest thing that reminded him of his son at this moment.

" I'm pregnant." Jacinda said simply.

Speed dropped the menu and tipped over the glass of water that had been set in front of him, spilling it. Jacinda jumped up quickly and grabbed a handful of napkins. The waiter came by and saw the disturbance and sighed heavily as he joined in. When the water was cleaned up and their order was made, Speed glanced over at her and cleared his throat.

" I'm sorry , but did you just say that you are pregnant?" Speed asked as his voice changed pitch.

" Yes, four weeks. It's RJ's just in case you are wondering." Jacinda replied with a smile on her face.

" Well I figured that," Speed said as the smile crept up again. He couldn't believe this. He was going to be a grandfather.

" And, I'm going to need some help," Jacinda said as she absently touched her stomach.

" Whatever you need done, I've got it," Speed exclaimed enthusiastically.

"Are you sure?" Jacinda asked.

" Am I sure? That's my grandchild we are talking about! I will do anything that is needed," Speed said almost out of breath, " a baby. I can't believe it."

Jacinda felt the apprehension that she was carrying, melt away. Now that she had told him, she felt as if she could finally breathe. Now the task would be how to break it to her mother.

" I haven't told anyone yet, so ..."

" I know, keep my mouth shut. It' going to be pretty hard , though. You have made me the happiest I've been in a long time. We've got so much to do, getting a nursery together, going to appointments, scheduling LeMans classes..."

Jacinda put a hand up and smiled brightly, " Whoa, whoa, Speed, can we get through lunch first? We have eight months to get everything together. Let's take it one day at time, okay?"

Speed chuckled to himself and looked down . He was so happy that he could barely contain himself. But Jacinda was right , he had to pace himself. Thousands of thoughts raced through his mind, the most prevalent one being should he tell Robin.

" Jacinda, I want to tell Robin. Maybe if she hears this , she will come to her senses."

" I think she has the right to know, Speed. Like you said, maybe this will help her in some way," Jacinda said glancing up at the busy restaurant ,wondering when she was going to get her food.

Speed nodded in agreement and as an afterthought asked, " Is it okay if I tell someone at the lab? Just one person."

" If her initials are AW, there is a good chance that you won't make it out of the lab today without her cornering you. I noticed that she has always had a keen sense of knowing what is going on with you. It's almost freaky."

" She's been there for me in more ways than one. When I had that thing with your mother, she was my shoulder to cry on. She's like my best friend and my mother rolled into one."

_That thing? _Jacinda thought but shoved it to the back of her mind. She instead focused on the waiter as he toted a platter of food her way." You got that right. I have seen her in action more than once when it was concerning you," Jacinda returned as the hot plate of food was placed in front of her. She was famished.

Speed glanced at her and grinned at the hungry look she was giving the plate, " Hungry are we?"

" I'm eating for two now," Jacinda said humorously as she began with the french fries. They ate and continued to talk about the baby, both of them feeling a sense of release.

As the waiter cleared their plates, Speed flipped his wrist to take a look at his watch to see that his lunch hour had been over for almost thirty minutes.

" I got to get back," he said as he stood up . In a quick motion, he pulled out the chair for Jacinda and helped her up.

" Speed, I'm not an invalid or anything, I'm just pregnant. Please don't start treating me differently," Jacinda sighed.

" I just want to make sure that you are going to be okay."

"I'm going to be fine, Speed. I'm still going to work, do the things that I always do, but maybe Eric will have to take the floaters for a while. Other than that, nothing really has changed , so no special treatment. Got it?"

" Sure, whatever you say. But if I see something I don't like, I'm going to call you out on it. It's your job to take care of the baby, and it's mine to make sure that you are okay," Speed said as he opened the door for her. " What matters is that this baby is healthy."

Jacinda glanced down at her stomach and lightly touched it. He was right, above more than anything , this baby had to come into this world. Jacinda vowed to herself and RJ that she would do all that was within her to make it so.

TNR

Maddison felt the cell phone vibrate on her side and knew what it was without having to look at it. She stopped her paperwork and flipped the phone to reveal the dispatch code for a callout. Getting up, she noticed that the trace lab was empty and dark. She glanced at her watch and saw that Speedle was due back from lunch almost an hour ago. Sighing to herself, she made a mental note to talk to him about his counseling session and to try and persuade him to go to it.

As she walked out of her office, she saw Raymond as he made his way to her. In the month since losing his mother, Raymond had changed considerably. He was no longer the boisterous, easy going Ray that she was used to , now he was more reserved almost reflective. She wanted so much to talk to him about this, but she knew that his wounds were still fresh. She wouldn't breach this subject with him unless he wanted it.

"Raymond," Maddison greeted lightly.

" I see we have a call out. Mind if I ride with you?" Raymond asked absently.

" I don't see why not? How have you been doing today? I haven't seen you around."

" I had this thing to take care of this morning and it ended up taking up all of my time."

" Does this have anything to do with a counseling session?" Maddison asked as she looked sideways at him.

" How did you know?"

" It seems like Stetler is bent on trying to get everyone into therapy. I don't know if she is truly concerned about us or if she is rooting around for some dirt to try and hang us with."

" She's so much like her father isn't she?" Raymond asked, as a small spark resurfaced.

" Yeah, but she isn't as bad as he was."

Raymond laughed out loud as they got onto the elevator suddenly thankful that he had run into Maddison in the hallway.

TNR

Jen Delko stood behind her father in the fingerprinting lab, wanting to say something, but not wanting to interrupt him. Feeling his daughter's presence and apprehension, Eric looked up from the magnifying glass towards her with a smile. When she returned the smile half heartedly, Eric instantly knew that something was wrong.

" Hey dad, you got a minute?" Jen asked as she continued to stand behind him.

" Always for my little girl, what can I do for you?"

" I just wanted to talk to you, or to someone."

Eric looked deeper into her eyes , not liking the distant tone she was taking this conversation. His own apprehensions set in motion a flurry of thoughts.

" Go ahead."

" I don't know if I want to do this anymore, dad."

" What? Why do you say that?"

" I don't know, it's like I get lost in the mix around here. Mr. Speedle never confers with me on anything, he just takes it by himself and leaves me to twiddle my thumbs, Jacinda doesn't even recognize me anymore. Maddison looks right over me, I don't think I fit here anymore."

" Jen , you just lost one of your good friends. It's natural to feel this way."

" No, dad , it's more than RJ. I can't make a connection with anyone here."

" Jen, just give it time..."

" How much time do I give it dad? When I'm Horatio's age and wondering why I am still doing something that I don't love? I can't just let my life slip away from me."

" But Jen, you've wanted to do this since your were three. You graduated with honors from the university and you are a damn good trace analyst," Eric stated matter of fact.

" I don't know dad. I just feel lost a lot of the time,"Jen replied with tears in her eyes.

In an instant, their cell phones vibrated and they both looked at them. Eric exhaled deeply wanting to continue this conversation. Jen shook her head and put the phone back on the top of her pants.

" Can we finish this before you make a rash decision?" Eric asked as he stood up and took off his lab coat.

Jen nodded and left the fingerprinting lab to retrieve her kit from the trace lab. Eric followed behind her closely , keeping two steps behind her. Coming to the trace lab, they found it dark and locked. Jen expressed her frustration audibly and hit the door with her fist. Eric gazed at her with deep concern, she had never reacted to anything like that. Ever.

" What am I going to do? I need my kit out of there," Jen said as she put her forehead on the glass door.

" I'll let you use mine," Eric said as he put a comforting hand on his daughter's shoulder. He would have some words with Speed when he saw him again. Eric guided her to the elevator and they rode in silence to the garage to an awaiting Hummer. Jen continued to remain silent through out the ride , her confusion and hurt etched on her face. She couldn't stand another moment here, and she had to do something to get out of it.

TBC...

A/N: What's going on with Jen? And where is Alexx? Tune in to find out , lol :).


	4. Chapter 4

Cha-Cha Changes

disclaimer: there is a child murder that the team is investigating in this chapter, so be advised.

chapter 4

" Thanks for seeing me on such a short notice, Doctor West."

" I try to accommodate by any means possible," the doctor said as she sat across from her patient,

"So, what do you need to talk about today?"

" Well, I've been having a hard time today. I really needed someone to talk to," she said as she absently fiddled with the pen she had in her hand.

" That's what I am here for. This is a place where you can talk about whatever is bothering you. I realize that you are still dealing with the loss of someone close to you. How are you handling that?" Dr. Westasked as she eyed the pen tapping against the chair.

" Not well, I can't help but think about what his death has done to us, me. Every time I think about it, I get angry. Upset at the fact that he was impulsive, stubborn, but most of all ,young. It was a senseless loss. I cared for him so much," she said as her eyes started to glisten with her tears. " I should've been there more for him."

" There was nothing you could've done, RJ was killed in the field."

" I could've talked to him more. I feel like I could've done more than what I have done."

" What have you done?" Dr. West asked as she handed her the tissue box.

" I've tried to be there to help them come to terms with his death," she replied as she wiped her eyes. It felt so good to her to be getting this out.

" But who is trying to help you come to terms?"

" I have to be strong for them, doctor. They are my family."

" You can't be strong for them , if you are not strong for yourself first. Take things in perspective, break away from the mother hen mentality, give yourself time to properly grieve your loss."

A slight hum interrupted them and Dr. West smiled endearingly at the woman as she looked down. She flipped the gadget open and sighed heavily then turning to Dr. West , " I'm sorry we are going to have to cut this short. I have to get back to work."

Dr. West nodded and got up, " It's okay. Time waits for no man. Come back when you need to chat?"

She nodded and replied quietly, " I will."

She walked to the door, feeling somewhat better, but couldn't quite put what Dr. West was telling her to do, together in her mind. How could she stop being there for her family? Dr. West noticed the confusion still etched on her face and put a comforting hand on her arm.

" Alexx, I am not telling you not to be there for them, just open yourself up for someone to be there for you. Can you understand that?"

Alexx smiled lightly and nodded her head, " I'll try, doctor. Thanks for listening to me."

"Anytime, Alexx."

Alexx walked out of the office and down the corridor to the elevator. The steps she had taken to get past RJ's death had been painful, but she was doing the best she could. If only she could've talked to him...

_There you go again, Alexx,_ she said to herself as she rode the lift down to the morgue. She had to stop doing this to herself. As much as she loved RJ, she had to realize that the blame wasn't solely hers. The doors to the elevator opened and she walked out , heading into the morgue. There was a call out that she had to get to.

TNR

Eric noticed Speed as he walked over to the yellow crime scene tape and pulled it up to slide under. There were so many emotions running through him at that moment , that he decided against confronting him about the long lunch hour, instead taking a detour and going the opposite way. What his daughter had confided in him, was wearing on his consciousness. As much as she wanted this, what was making her want to turn away from it? It perplexed him something terrible, and he didn't hear as Maddison had come up to him and addressed him.

" Eric?"

" Uh, um, yeah, Maddison?" Eric said as he glanced in Jen's direction. She was standing near the perimeter of the scene, to herself.

" I said I wanted you and Speed to check the back of the building for anything that could tell us what happened to this girl." Maddison returned , noticing Eric's detachment.

" Okay, I'll get on it," Eric said as he turned to walk.

Maddison put a gentle hand up to stop him, " Eric , is there something wrong?"

" No, just got a lot on my mind," Eric replied as he walked away.

Maddison continued to look at him then turned to glance at the rest of her team seeing phantoms of what they used to be. Instead of chatter , there was silence as they worked. The only inkling of life that was present in her group was Rory who was bending down to pick up a piece of the evidence, but even with him , she saw a slight hint of uneasiness. Sighing heavily, she walked over to them to join in the investigation. When this was complete, she was going to have a talk with them all.

* * *

" You okay?" Speed asked Jacinda as she glanced at the nude body of the little girl then back up to Jacinda. She had a look of despair on her as she knelt down to her haunches. 

" How can someone be so brutal to do this to a little girl?" Jacinda asked as she pulled the blond hair out of the little girl's face. She couldn't have been more than eight years old. Instant thoughts of her baby came to mind when she looked into the small face of their latest victim.

" Who knows anymore," Alexx said coming up to them and putting her kit down angrily. There was nothing worse than a murdered child. She started by looking into the little girl's eyes , seeing the familiar splotches of red. She then moved down to her tiny neck, noticing the bruises. " She's got petechia and ecchymosis around her neck, saying strangulation. There are no ligature marks, so whoever did this, did it with their bare hands. Poor baby was too small to fight him off."

"Or her," Maddison said as she walked up to them, " Alexx, TOD?"

" Judging from the liver temp," Alexx said as she pulled the thermometer out of the little girl's side, " I'd say about ten to fifteen hours. Which would put her out here around noon yesterday."

"Aren't the kids in school?" Jacinda asked as she glanced away from the body feeling her stomach flip.

" Yes, they started last week," Alexx answered as she turned the body. " I got more bad news, double lividity, she's been moved. She wasn't killed here."

Speed sighed as he got up and walked away from them . Sometimes, this job was too much. Maddison looked up and then back to Alexx.

" Anything to tell us who she is or where she came from?"

Alexx looked around the body, seeing nothing of importance, " There's nothing. I'll know more after I post her. I'll get the trace to Timmy as soon as I am done." Alexx said as she motioned for the body haulers to come.

" Good, thank you , Alexx," Maddison said as she saw Speed coming back towards her. " Speed, you got a minute?"

Speed absently looked to her then dropped his head to where the body was lying and nodded. Someone lost a child here. Suddenly , he felt almost grateful of losing RJ the way he did. No one could handle not knowing where there child was. He shook himself out of his thoughts and turned his attention to Maddison.

" Yeah?"

" I wanted to talk to you briefly about something,..." Maddison started before she heard her name being called from near the bushes. She spun around on her heels, then back to Speed, "Can we do this later?"

" Sure. I gotta finish here," Speed said as he put the camera up to his eyes and began to snap pictures.

Maddison walked to the bushes and found Rory bent over something. He didn't have any gloves on.

" Rory, where are your gloves?" Maddison asked appalled.

" Right here in my pocket. I was going to put them on when I found something, which I did," Rory said as he pulled a pair of latex gloves out.

" Next time, glove before walking on to the scene," Maddison warned. " What do you have?"

" I found some clothes and a pocketbook. They look like a little girl's school uniform," Rory said as he pushed the bushes back. " Everything's here and folded neatly."

" That's odd. Why would the killer take their time to fold the girl's clothes and risk being seen?" Calleigh asked as she walked up to them.

" They could've folded them before hand and placed them here, denoting a sense of remorse," Rory offered. The ladies turned to him with surprised looks on their faces, " What?"

" That's a good point, Rory. But if there was remorse, then wouldn't they cover the body as well? She 's in plain sight , it's not logical," Calleigh added.

" You are adding logic to an illogical act," Maddison said as she bent to her haunches to open the little pink pocketbook. It reminded her of her things that she had while growing up.

" You sound just like Horatio," Calleigh said with a smile.

Maddison smirked slightly and cocked her head to the side, pulling out a small wallet. There was a school id in the plastic covering. She looked at it and dropped her head, it was indeed , the little girl.

" Her name is Shannon Moore," Maddison said as she handed the wallet to Rory who then placed it in plastic bag. " Let's go to the school and get some information. I'll be with Alexx if you need me."

Calleigh and Rory nodded in sync and bagged the clothes and pocketbook as Maddison slipped on her sunglasses and walked away. The more things changed the more they stayed the same.

TBC...

A/N: I couldn't help myself with the references to Horatio as we see him :) Bear with me , cause I'm battling a little inspiration lapse..


	5. Chapter 5

The New Recruits: Cha cha Changes

Chapter 5

A/N: Yes , it' back! I feel like it's rising from the ashes , like a phoenix. I hope that you like!

Alexx flipped the sheet back to expose the paleness of the little girl's skin, and felt sadness rise up inside of her. She stroked the long blond hair absently, letting her mind wander to her own daughter who was still in school, safe. Alexx took a long look at the delicate features and dropped her head, her hands still on the little girl's hair. Why? Why would someone do this to an angel? Inhaling , Alexx took her tools in hand and started the Y incision. She would find out and give this precious little girl a voice.

" It's alright baby, I'm going to help you," Alexx said softly as she peeled back the skin on the girl's chest. Methodically, she searched for the clues, her mind staying focused on the goal. Alexx probed deeper into the little girl's cavities, finding the tiniest traces of evidence that would explain why this girl would never get to play in the sun again, or listen to the rain, or dance to the music . Alexx was her protector now, and she would protect her from the anonymity of death.

Deep into her work, Alexx didn't hear the doors open and only noticed Maddison when she stopped in front of her. She didn't look up, only continuing to search harder. Maddison saw the intensity in Alexx's movements and watched her . There was something that was eating at Alexx. Inside, Maddison could feel the frustration of having her team incapacitated by the losses that they suffered, knowing that there was nothing that she could do. Each of them were trying to find their own way through the labyrinth of their individual pain.

" Alexx, what do we have?" ,Maddison asked softly as if trying not to tread on the serenity of this heart breaking task.

" What we have is a classic case of abuse, Maddison. When I got her in here, the bruises became more pronounced. And I did an x ray and found that both of her arms had been broken at one time or another. I've also found recent bruising on her ribs, and not the type of bruising that you get from bumping around things, this was deep . Inside the tissue."

"Any way to tell if it happened during the murder?"

" Yes. The deep bruises were just starting to surface, so that meant that they happened peri mortem. Whoever killed her, didn't put the bruises there."

" What else did you find, Alexx?"

" Vaginal tearing, did a SART kit and sent the biologicals to DNA. And I scraped her nails ,finding epitheials . She fought like a champ, but it made no difference."

" Her killer was bigger than she was," Maddison said as she looked down into her still face.

" Yeah, and meaner. I took a look at the bruising around her neck and saw that the skin had been rubbed almost raw. I've never seen that before."

" Anger."

" Something made this person angry enough to twist their hands around her neck? It wasn't enough she was strangled, but she had to go through that as well, poor baby," Alexx returned gently. Maddison nodded and stepped back, causing Alexx to look at her. " I'm not finished, Maddison, there's more."

" More?"

" Yes. I found track marks on her arm..."

" Track marks? Alexx..."

" I don't know , Maddison, but I took some blood and sent it to tox . I would say that they looked medical, but nowadays, you really couldn't tell. But as soon as I know, you'll know," Alexx said with finality. Maddison took the cue and knew that she was finished. She turned to walk out of the autopsy theater , but stopped short of the doors.

"Alexx, are you okay?" Maddison asked as she turned around to face her again. Maddison could see the surprise in the expression of the medical examiner as she lifted a hand up to wave her off.

" Maddison, I'm fine , why do you ask?" Alexx said as she began to stitch up Shannon. _Don't lie, Alexx, this is what you need, _she said to herself.

" It just seems like you are not yourself today."

" She's not supposed to be here," Alexx said motioning to the slab. _Neither was RJ_, she added to herself.

" It's not the case... It's something deeper. You want to talk about it?" Maddison asked as she looked the Medical Examiner in her brown eyes. Alexx was unable to hold her gaze and she felt a round of tears starting.

" Uh- Um Maddison... I would love to ..." she said as the door burst open. They both looked up quickly to see Tim as he walked into the morgue with a file folder in his hand. Maddison noticed the limp even more as he came to them.

" I got something on Shannon's father," Tim said as he tried to avoid looking at her. She was a beautiful little girl, gone too soon. His mind instantly went to his unborn grandchild and his heart fell, fearing that this was the world that she or he would have to see.

" Really? How'd you get it?"

" Rory and Calleigh got to St. Josephine's and talked to her teacher. Apparently, Shannon has been living in foster care for almost a year."

" Any background?" Maddison asked as she turned fully to him. She couldn't look at the tiny body on the slab anymore, fearing that she would lose her self in the senseless act.

" Background isn't the word. He has a rap sheet that could circle the earth . Every thing from petty larceny to domestic disputes."

"Domestic disputes," Alexx said as she covered the girl. " That would explain the bruises. Any thing in there from child protective services?"

"No, the charges were brought by a Jeanne Moore. Probably Shannon's mother," Tim replied letting a breath escape.

"Any idea who she was staying with?" Maddison asked as she took the file from Tim. It was thick and read like a novel.

"Rory and Calleigh are following up on that. Alexx, you have that trace for me?"

For the first time, today, Alexx let a smile return to her face as she answered, " Here it is. I would never forget you, Timmy."

Tim took the envelopes from Alexx, also noticing that she didn't seem quite like herself. He made a mental note to talk to her later. He then turned to walk away without another word, leaving the two women to watch him. His son's death had taken the best part of him, and Alexx reached deep inside to fight the urge to run after him and force him to talk. If he wanted to talk, he would have to come to her.

" Alexx, great work as always," Maddison said as she started toward the door, " page me if you find anything else."

Alexx nodded as the door opened and closed, leaving her alone in her domain.

TNR

Calleigh opened the door to the lab, allowing Rory to pass before her with boxes filled with Shannon's school work. She guided him to the layout room and there they emptied the contents of the box on to the table. Calleigh figured that the best way to get to know the vic was to go through her mind. Small children usually projected themselves through the work they did in school. This would give them an inside view of what was going on with Shannon Moore.

" Alright , Rory, I'll start on the school work and you work victimology. The teacher said that she was staying in foster care, so see if we can get those records from child protective services."

" You know how hard it is to get through to them? I'll be on hold until Christmas," Rory explained.

Calleigh threw a pained smile at him saying, " Rory, it's the tiniest bit information that could help us . We do what we have to do."

" I know, I know, but I was just saying..."

" You were just saying how important it is to look into every avenue , right?" Calleigh said with a certian hint of sternness in her voice, telling Rory that he should just drop it and get to work. He sighed and sat down at a desk, grabbing for the phone. Calleigh smiled to herself as she started to sort through the contents of the box.

The door opened, and she glanced up to see Jacinda as she stood in the door with a look of discomfort. Calleigh stopped what she was doing and called to her, " Jacinda, how are you doing? How 'd the doctor's appointment go?"

Jacinda crossed the room with heavy footfalls. She had no idea how to tell her. She glanced over to the desk, seeing Rory perched there with his hand over his eyes as he held the phone limply from his ear.

_Well I can't do it here, _she thought as she came to her mother. " You got a minute?"

" Just starting in on the Moore case, whatcha need?"

" I just thought we could talk, but if you are busy, we can talk tonight. Dinner?" Jacinda asked as she gazed down at the drawings and class work. It reminded Jacinda of her days in elementary school. In her day, she didn't have to worry about the violence and strife that the kids did now, it was a totally different world.

" Ummmm dinner. I see... It must be important. I guess your father can keep Jacob a little later. Seven okay?"

"Fine with me , mom," Jacinda said as she smiled, then diverted her eyes again to the work. There was something that was gravitating her to it. " So, you are thinking to get into Shannon's mind?"

" Yeah. I remembered when you were in second grade and the teacher told you to draw a day with your family..."

" And I drew Jacob on the floor crying and you and dad were laughing."

" That's how you saw us, through your eight year old mind. So I figured if anything was going wrong in this little girl's life, she would tell us through her drawings."

Jacinda felt a darkness come over her as she absently put a hand over her stomach. Just thinking about the tiny girl lying on the slab in the morgue was enough to make her stomach turn. Calleigh saw the change in her color and got up quickly , moving her to the nearest wastebasket, which was near Rory. Rory jumped up, startled , just in time enough to witness Jacinda empty the contents of her stomach.

" Jesus, what the hell?", he asked as he stood up, narrowly being missed.

Calleigh glared up at the young CSI and said, "Rory , could you get a cool cloth?"

" I'm on hold," he responded as he inched away from the wastebasket.

"You'll probably still be on hold another hour. Get the cloth."

Rory glanced at the phone then to Calleigh, again seeing evidence of why he shouldn't argue and pushed through the door of the room, heading for the break room. Calleigh turned her attention to Jacinda, obvious worry in her eyes. She pulled the pale blond hair out of her face, and rubbed her back in a calming motion.

" Jacinda..."

" I'm fine mom. Really, I am," Jacinda returned as she slowly lifted her head up smiling weakly. "Really."

" And I'm really sure that you are not. You never get sick," Calleigh said , effecting the mother hen voice.

" There's a first time for every thing."

" Not funny, Jacinda. Maybe we should cancel dinner."

Jacinda shook her head slowly, fearing that the constant motion would set another round off, "Mom, I said that I was okay. Besides, I really need to talk to you."

" Well...," Calleigh started as she saw Rory walking down the hall with a rag in hand. Following behind him was Tim and he wore a concerned look as he opened the door.

"Cal, Jacinda , is everything alright?" he asked as he put a gentle hand on Jacinda's back. Calleigh noticed and immediately knew that something was going on.

" I was just sick for a moment, but it passed. I keep trying to tell my mother that," Jacinda replied as she looked Tim in the face, attempting to stave his concern. She received the cool cloth from Rory and he took his seat at the desk, taking the phone in hand. Pressing the button, he grinned widely as the same lame elevator music was still playing.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Tim asked , the father side coming out of him. This time ,Calleigh raised her eyebrows and smiled crookedly.

" Is there something I should know?"she asked , releasing her thick accent.

" You didn't tell her?" Tim asked as he looked to Jacinda again.

" Tell me what?"

" No, I was going to do it at dinner, but it seems like now is going to happen."

" What's going to happen?" Calleigh asked as she followed the volley between them.

" I think it's important that she know," Tim continued.

" And she will know, tonight."

" Alright, STOP !" Calleigh said , raising her voice. Rory glanced in their direction , shrugged then went back to his task.

Jacinda and Tim exchanged glances and turned their attention to the frayed woman before them. The jig was up.

" I want to know what's going on , and I want to know this instant."

" Mom..."

"Calleigh..."

Calleigh put a hand up and stopped them both from providing excuses. She wanted to know what was making them so crazy. " What about this instant do you not understand?"

Jacinda knew that tone very well, she being on the receiving end of it for so many years as a child growing up. She knew that when Calleigh Duquense said something, people moved into action.

"I'm waiting."

" Um, mom, it's kind of personal," Jacinda responded quietly.

" Well, whisper it. I don't care, I want to know what's going on with you."

Jacinda gave in and sighed heavily, there was no winning this one, " Alright, alright, I'll tell you... I'm pregnant."

Shock permeated Calleigh's calm features and she felt the need to sit down. Tim grasped hold of her arm and guided her to a seat, smiling at her. Her reaction was just about as subtle as his, with the exception of the mess that he made.

" Yo- you're pregnant?"

" Yes, mom. I am..." Jacinda said as she smiled slightly.

" How far along are you?"

"About a month..."

" Who's... who's the father?" Calleigh asked the shock still present in her voice.

Jacinda dropped her head and felt her eyes get heavy with the pain of saying his name, " It's Robert's, mom."

"RJ's ?... But how?"

" We spent a night together while we were working the bomb case... and well you know how it goes from there," Jacinda quipped.

Calleigh nodded and sat silent for a while then moved to hug her. Despite what they had lost, it seemed that there was something gained as well. Calleigh did have some reservations as for Jacinda being a single mother, but she pushed them aside, and vowed to help her in whatever she needed.

TBC...

A/N: I feel another chapter coming on... Stay tuned!


	6. Chapter 6

The New Recruits: Cha- Cha- changes

Chapter 6

Eric stood outside the trace lab, waiting for his daughter to come out. She had been regulated to find trace on Shannon's clothes and personal items as soon as they returned to the field. He looked at his watch and sighed inwardly. It was close to the end of shift and he hadn't had a free moment to talk to her since the call out. Her words floated through his mind, as well as the demeanor she held. That was not the same Jennifer Delko that he had seen , ever. That was some one else. He peered into the lab, not seeing anyone, but then she could be running some errands to DNA or QD. He started to walk away when he heard the door open. He stopped and spun on his heels , coming face to face with another trace tech, Belmontes.

" Sam, is Jen in there?" Eric asked as he glanced inside the lab once more.

" Um, no, it was only me. Speedle stepped out to go to the morgue," Sam replied as he flipped through a file.

" Have you seen her?"

"No, not since this morning," Belmontes answered.

" This morning? She was supposed to be working the trace off of the vic's clothing."

" I just finished up on that, I got the file right here and I was going to show it to Speedle. That is if I could find him."

Eric barely responded , his mind racing with thoughts. With that kind of sadness , there was no telling where she would be. Eric thought to call Max, but then he rethought it ,knowing that she would be out of the lab in a flash, and he needed for things to stay calm. _Maybe she went somewhere to clear her head, _he thought as he turned away from Belmontes. Sam took his leave as Eric glanced at his watch, then pulled the cell from his side. He flipped it open and dialed her number.

" _Hi, this is Jen Delko, you've reached me at a bad time, so I'll call you back. Name and number please_", came the perky voice at the other end of the phone. Eric smiled faintly as he felt the tears coming to his eyes. That was the Jen that he was used to . Happy.

" Jen, it's Dad. Give me a call when you get this,"he said into his phone, trying to sound calm. He flipped the phone down and sighed heavily, walking back to fingerprinting.

TNR

Jen drove until she could find no reason to keep going. She wasn't about to fill up the tank on her car and she just felt tired. Seeing an isolated stretch of beach, she pulled over quickly and parked the car, feeling the intense need to feel the air around her. Every since RJ had died, she had been unable to feel anything. The disconnected feeling had been heavy, and she found herself unable to concentrate on anything, and her desires dried up. Including being what she had always wanted to be, a CSI. It seemed as if nothing else mattered to her. There was nothing worth living for, it was as if RJ had taken her along with him.

She ran to the edge of the sea, letting the cool Atlantic water rush over her shoes. She closed her eyes and felt the tears as they made their way down her face. The peace that she was experiencing at that moment was unnerving, being that she was always in turmoil. The soft breeze blew through her hair ,ruffling it and she breathed inwardly as she shrugged off her jacket. Letting the jacket slide down , she continued to walk into the ocean, staring at the horizon. The possibilities had been endless for her; she was smart, funny ,and not entirely too bad looking, but something had happened along the way. Something had jammed up the works. She placed her hand on her sidearm, and looked down at it. Pulling it out of it's holster, she held it in her hand , gazing at it in contempt. It was the same thing that took her best friend away from her, and now she was contemplating using it on herself to end this pain. She dropped the gun to her side and un clipped the phone from her side. Flipping it open, she saw the voice mail icon. She smiled to herself as she knew who it was. The only one who she could depend on always being there for her. It hurt her to think that she would leave him with a gaping hole in his heart, but she couldn't fathom another moment carrying this around with her.

" _Jen, it's Dad. Give me a call when you get this,_" she heard on the other end. His voice already sounded full of worry and sorrow as if he knew what was going on in her mind. The salty streams traveled fast down her face as she closed her eyes, debating whether to say goodbye to him. When she couldn't make up her mind , she screamed into the heavens, crying at full tilt. She just wanted it to stop. Gathering herself as much as she could, Jen dialed his number and waited. He picked up on the second ring.

" Jen? Baby, where are you?" he asked, his voice frantic. She smiled through the tears as she remembered the times together.

"Daddy,..." she choked out through the next round of tears, " I'm sorry for this."

"What are you talking about ? You have nothing to be sorry about, Jen. Where are you?"

" I'm safe, daddy."

" Jen," he said as he heard her crying softly. It tore his heart out to hear her in so much despair.

"Daddy, I'm sorry,..." Jen said as she put the gun to her head. She dropped the phone to her side, letting it slip out of her hand, it tumbling to the sand. Eric heard the roaring of the surf clearer and he knew, he knew that instant that he was going to lose her. He heard the faint popping in the back and screamed into his cell phone, startling someone who was passing by .

"Jen! Jennifer... No , don't..." he said as he felt the pain tighten in his chest. He grasped on to the table trying to hold on , but it slipped and he carried a laptop with him as he crumpled on to the ground.

TNR

Maddison sat at her desk , staring at the pictures that were populated in between the case files and paperwork. This had been a trying month , and by the looks of things, it didn't seem as if they were going to get any better. She had not heard from Horatio since RJ's funeral, and she worried about him. It was usual for him to retreat into himself, but this had gone extreme. No one had heard from him, not even Speed. She had tried calling him, going by his house, calling his cell, but nothing had worked. It was as if he had simply disappeared.

" Where are you , Horatio?" Maddison asked out loud when she heard a commotion. She got up to see what it was, pulling up the blinds. Seeing the scene unfold, she rushed down to the lab.

TNR

He had found this little stretch of beach when he had heard about his brother's death. It gave him solace to come here and think clearly about things. Even when a case got heavy he could always retreat to his hidden sanctuary. In this case, he had taken a bag of his belongings and stayed in a quaint little breakfast inn just five miles down the long deserted road. For the life of him, he couldn't figure out why someone would've wanted to build a inn there, but he was happy that it was there. What he needed was solitude , and this place provided it for him.

He stood outside his balcony peering into the light blue horizon, in thought about those he couldn't protect. Yelina, his love, had paid the price for him, and RJ , his 'grandson' died trying to save him. It was very hard not to blame himself for this, and he felt less than a friend for his part in it. Sighing heavily, he decided that he needed to be closer to the water today, so he returned into his bungalow , and grabbed his keys.

The drive to his spot was less than ten minutes and he took that time to reflect on his pain. The pain of standing by as two people in his life were laid to rest. The pain of not being able to reconcile with it. The huge cloud of guilt that fixed itself permanently over him. Shaking it off, he turned off the road and brought the Hummer to rest on the shoulder. A couple of feet away, he saw another vehicle parked haphazardly on the shoulder. He glanced down to see a woman at the edge of the surf, with a gun in her hand. He looked back at the vehicle and then back at the woman, now knowing who she was. He started to walk to her as he saw her put the gun up to her head and drop the phone. His paced quickened and he was beside her in a matter of seconds, his hands going straight for the gun. Shocked, she squeezed the trigger, the bullet finding the ocean. Horatio slipped the gun out of her hands and she looked at him with her eyes full of pain and sorrow.

" I want to die, Horatio," she screamed as she wept heavily, " I want to die!"

" Shh, Jen ,it's okay," Horatio said as he slid down on to the sand with her, holding her tightly. His sadness dwindling at the sight of her need, " I'm here."

She continued to weep as Horatio looked into the horizon, holding her. The thought that ran through his mind was to get her to a hospital, but he remained still, helping her gain control. He could feel her squeezing her arms around him , as if anchoring herself to him. Horatio dropped his head and smiled lightly to himself. His reason for being here was solidified.

After a few more minutes, Horatio pulled away from her and looked into her eyes. The pain remained , but there was control.

" Jennifer, I'm going to take you to the hospital. I want you to rest , safely."

" I don't need a hospital to rest , Horatio," Jen said lowly, " I just wanted peace."

" In searching for peace , do you know how close you came to death?"

" Isn't that the point?" Jen asked as she started to stand. " Not to deal with this anymore?"

" Seems easy. But did you ever think about the lives you would leave? The pain that they would suffer? The hurt , the guilt that they would have for not being able to help you?"

" No one can help me, Horatio."

" Everyone can be helped, Jennifer," Horatio replied as he took her arm. " Now , we are going to the hospital and you are going to get some rest and talk to some body. And it's not up for discussion."

" What about my car?" Jen asked as she glanced back at the scene that they were leaving. She could feel the deep despair that clung to the place that she was standing and shuddered. Horatio rubbed her arms and knelt down, grabbing her gun and cell phone.

" We can get it later. I'll take this," he said as he slipped the gun behind him, " and you call your dad. He's probably sick with worry."

TNR

Speed glanced into the fingerprinting lab to ask Delko something when he saw that his friend wasn't there. He started to leave, but then he saw the mess of papers on the floor, instantly throwing him into an intense curious mode. Turning the corner, he could see Eric as he laid on the floor , obviously unconscious. He dropped his file and ran to him, kneeling down, practically yelling his name.

" Delko! Delko!" Speed said as he shook him. When he didn't get a response, he turned him over and started CPR. He was in the rhythm of it when the doors opened again, and Calleigh stood with Maxine , their eyes wide as silver dollars.

" Oh my God!" Maxine cried out as she put a hand to her mouth. " Eric!"

Speed continued CPR as Calleigh knelt beside him, readying herself to take over for him, " Tim , I got it."

Speed nodded as he moved back and let Calleigh take over. As he gathered his breath, he quickly un hooked his cell from his side and called for the paramedics. Soon, more personnel filtered into the fingerprinting lab as Calleigh continued to give CPR steadily, breathing for her friend. Speed stood up and gestured for them to back away.

" Give us some room!"

"Speed ! What happened here?" a voice said from inside the group. Speed looked over to her as she pushed through the people to see Eric on the floor, and Calleigh tiring.

" Delko was on the floor when I came in, he wasn't breathing," Speed said as he eyed Calleigh. He would jump in when he saw her faltering.

" What's his status?" Maddison asked.

Calleigh stopped for a second to listen and check his pulse. She smiled faintly as she found a weak one, " I've got a pulse, but he needs to get to a hospital."

In seconds , the crowd parted with the arrival of the paramedics , Alexx trailing behind. She looked frantically around, fearing that some one was hurt. When she saw Speed and Calleigh she raced over to them , giving them a hug. She then noticed Eric as they strapped him to a Gurney and started transporting. She grabbed the Cuban's hand and squeezed it. Letting it go ,she glanced over to Maxine who was now following them out of the lab, with tears in her eyes. She couldn't loose her husband.

" What happened?" Alexx asked as she turned to Speed. She was relieved that it wasn't him, but at the same time, her heart ached for Eric. They were equally important to her.

" He was just lying on the floor," Speed said as he stood back, gathering himself. " I did what I could..."

"Timmy, you did fine," Alexx said as she gave him a hug again.

Maddison turned to the gathering crowd and started to gesture them out of the lab, then turned to the three that remained. She knew that they were all on their way to the hospital, so she just nodded and they departed silently. She would join them momentarily, with the prayer that she wasn't losing yet another part of her 'family'.

TBC...

A/N: I know it seems like they can't catch a break, but it will get better...


	7. Chapter 7

The New Recruits: Cha - Cha Changes

Chapter 7

A/N: I know, you've been wondering where this went to. There's no excuse other than I'm lazy. But I digress. Here's my peace offering.

Rory turned to Jacinda as she walked into the layout room, looking for her mother. He regarded her with a smile then returned his gaze to his work, feeling more than happy that she was in the same room with him. Rory let the smile linger as he moved from one end to the next, trying not to make it obvious that he was seeking her attention. Jacinda chuckled slightly at his antics and pulled on her lab coat, joining him. She would have a little fun with the newbie.

"So, how's it going, Rory?" Jacinda asked as she glanced at Shannon's art work on the table. Calleigh had not gotten far with it, so Jacinda thought to take a look at it.

" Fine," he sighed. The close proximity to her was unnerving. He couldn't believe that he already had feelings for her after just meeting her this morning. " Although, I have found Mr.Speedle kinda scary."

" He's a teddy bear when it comes down to it. Just give it time, Rory. He just lost his son."

" And your boyfriend," Rory finished. She glanced up at him, her smile now disappearing. It wasn't like she needed to be reminded of her loss.

"Yeah, look, have you found anything else on Shannon?" Jacinda said quickly. All intentions on having fun with Rory had gone out of the door.

" Not much, but Calleigh hadn't finished with the drawings. Do you really think that there is a clue to what was going on with her in these drawings?"

Jacinda nodded as she continued to look at one particular drawing, " Don't you remember art in school? You let your perception dictate what you drew?"

" No, not really?"

"So , you are perfect then?" Jacinda asked as she glanced up at him. His gray eyes shining brilliantly.

" No, not at all. Just well rounded. I didn't have to express myself through anything. Talking came easy for me."

"So , Mr. Well rounded, there was nothing that you felt like you couldn't talk about?"

" Nope. My family was very open and understanding. We didn't need drawings to know what was going on with us."

" Umm, interesting," Jacinda said as she continued to focus at the drawing in front of her.

" What that I'm an open book?" Rory quipped as he shifted his weight , leaning closer into her. He could smell the scent of her shampoo, it making him drift slightly.

"No, I mean, this drawing, it's interesting. Didn't Speed say something about a mother and a foster home?"

" Yeah, what are you getting at?"

" Look at this," Jacinda said as she held up a white piece of paper that held a drawing of a home, scribbled through with black. " The title says 'home'. She has three people in it. One's shouting at the other, and the other one is standing to themselves."

"Looking very upset," Rory said as he gazed at the picture. He saw the color of red on the drawing's face, figuring that it was blood. " Do you think that's blood?"

" Question is, who is it?" Jacinda said as she looked away from him to see commotion out in the corridor. They both got up and went to the door, just as a gurney went by. Jacinda took a harsh breath in as she saw who was on the gurney. Speed, Maxine , her mother and Alexx, passed by quickly, no one giving a glance back. Jacinda stepped out to catch her mother's arm, saying, "What happened?"

" Eric... he's unconscious, Tim found him in the fingerprinting lab, not breathing."

" Where's Jen?" Jacinda asked as she tried to keep up with the frantic pace. Rory wasn't far behind her.

" I don't know, Jacinda, but some one has to stay with the case. We are going to the hospital," Calleigh returned as she glanced over to Tim , who was having a hard time keeping himself composed. " Can you guys stay here and finish? We need to get a positive ID from Shannon's mother or someone."

" Okay mom, I'll stay, but keep me posted," Jacinda said as she stopped in her tracks and let the group pass her.

" I will."

Jacinda stood by as they all walked into the atrium, heading for the front doors. No matter how hard they tried , the CSIs of Miami Dade could not catch a break.

TNR

Horatio glanced at Jen as she slumbered fitfully in the passenger seat of the Hummer, his mind asking the questions. Why did she feel like there were no answers for her? Why did she feel like she wasn't worthy to live? Those were questions that he had asked himself time and time again, still not finding any answers. But today, his purpose came full circle. As he stood on the isolated beach with her, feeling all of her pain that felt so familiar, Horatio knew exactly what he was to do. He would be there for her, for them, just as he had been for countless others, and he would be the anchor that everyone had needed .

She stirred slightly as he turned onto the causeway, heading back into the city, causing him to glance over again. Seeing that her eyes were open, he smiled slightly , then returned his eyes to the road.

" How are you feeling, Jen?" he asked as he kept his eyes focused in front of him.

" Like a sand bag hit me in the chest," she replied groggily. She didn't know why she felt tired ,but it was an effort for her to keep her eyes open. " Why am I so tired?"

Horatio looked over to her with sympathetic eyes, and returned, " You've had so much on you. The weight of your troubles has finally caught up with you."

Jen smirked at him and repositioned herself in the seat, sitting up more, " I didn't know that you had a degree in psychology , H."

" It doesn't take one to know the human spirit. And not to mention that I've had my share of ups and downs. I can speak from experience."

" Your brother?"

" Yes, that type of pain never goes away," Horatio returned quietly. After all of these years, he still felt the hurt and turmoil that his brother's death had caused him. " But you have to learn how to live with it."

" It's just too hard, Horatio. Every since... Every since Robert's death, I have been denying that it was the root of my problem. I kept saying to myself that him being gone had not done anything to me, when its been farther from the truth. He was what made my life better. It was like losing a big brother," Jen replied tearfully. The pain on the beach was still there, and she didn't dare give it pause. Soon the emotions became too much for her and she was crying at full tilt again. She put her hands on the seat belt and released it, then moved to open the door. Horatio was stunned at the quickness of her actions, but he recovered in time enough to stop the Hummer and reached over to her, grabbing her.

"Jen, you have got to calm down. We are almost at the hospital. Don't make me restrain you. I'll do it," Horatio said as he looked at her. She was disheveled and the vacant look in her eyes told him that this wouldn't be an easy journey. He continued to look at her and she nodded her head in defeat and sat back. He pulled the seat belt across her and snapped it as she turned her head to gaze forlornly out into the darkening Miami skyline. The world was different for her now.

TNR

" I found an address for the mother," Rory said to Jacinda as they sat in the break room. They had been in the lay out room, going over the evidence and they both decided that they needed a break.

Jacinda sat down with a heavy sigh, feeling the eminent exhaustion as it began to settle around her. She didn't know whether it was psychological or real, but she was dead tired.

" Have we sent someone to get her? Jarret says that we need a positive ID."

" Detective Caine went. He should be back soon," Rory replied as he looked at her. He could tell that she was exhausted and he gave her a small smile. He also had put it together that she was pregnant and gaging from Speedle's interaction with her, he deduced that it was his late son's child that she was carrying. Despite this , he still felt an attraction to her, but he knew that he didn't have a chance. RJ was still a looming spectre.

" So you want to do the interview? I would but, seeming as if I look like crap scrapped off the sidewalk, I don't think it wise," Jacinda replied as she heaved some. Rory went into action and brought a waste basket to her. She relieved her stomach and then wiped the edges of her mouth , looking up at him sheepishly. How she wished she could gain control over her sickness. " I'm sorry about that, Rory. It's just that..."

" You're pregnant," he returned simply.

" Yeah... wait were you eavesdropping on our conversation?" Jacinda asked accusingly.

" Eavesdropping? While waiting for Child Protective Services?", Rory chuckled, "You give me way too much credit, Jacinda."

" Okay, so how did you know?"

" Well the barfing was the first clue, then Detective Speedle's interactions told me."

" It did?"

" Yes, the paternal instinct was wafting off of him," Rory said as he started to get up, " I'm a very observant creature."

" I see," she replied as she managed a smile. " Since you know, don't go spouting any information. If I want it out, I'll do it. Got it?"

" Crystal," Rory responded as he looked up to see Raymond pass by with a woman. " It's show time."

Jacinda laughed and watched him as he left the break room, feeling slightly better about Rory Hutchinson.

TBC...


	8. Chapter 8

The New Recruits: Cha Cha Changes

Chapter 8

A/N: This is going to be a strong chapter, just to warn.

She looked into the eyes of the man that was sitting next to her, unable to find the comfort that she was desperately seeking. Inside she was seething. Why couldn't he have let her do it? Why did he have to be there? Her eyes narrowed on his soft features, noticing the ever presence of sadness that encased his blue eyes. Surely he knew of the sadness and pain that she was dealing with, yet he chose to save her, to allow her to continue to dwell in this place. At that moment ,she hated Horatio Caine.

He noticed her as she stared at him, feeling the pain and weariness as it drifted off of her. But mostly, he felt hatred. He knew that he had treaded on her moment of release, but he couldn't just sit by and watch her throw her life away, not when she meant so much to others. If her hatred was what he was looking forward to , then he would deal. He would never give up on her.

" Jen, the doctor is going to take you to your room in a moment," Horatio said softly. He saw as she had stopped staring at him, instead concentrating her gaze on the floor. "Jen?"

Jen glanced up at him , a different look emerging. Her knuckles began to turn white from the pressure that she was holding them under, trying her best to remain in control, but finding that it was impossible. She was still here, still breathing , still having the unbearable pain coursing through her very soul, and it was all because of him.

In a moment of blindness, she reached out and struck him, causing him to reel back in surprise. She continued her attack, opening her hands, letting her nails catch on to his skin.

" Why didn't you let me die, Horatio!" she screamed as she continued her fury. Horatio tried to grasp at her hands, but failed, feeling his skin rip under her frantic slashes.

The orderlies came quickly as Horatio managed to grab her, looking her in her eyes, seeing all that he feared. Jen was too far down that path for him to reach her. But he was not going to give up on her. He reluctantly gave her to them as the fury seemed to seep out of her, leaving her drained even more. It pained him to see her drastic transformation, from fury to lost, in mere seconds. The doctor came up behind him as the orderlies strapped Jen on to the gurney for transport to the psychiatric ward, and looked at Horatio with concern.

" Sir," the doctor started as he looked over Horatio's face. The scratches were starting to bleed slightly, " I suggest that you go down to the emergency room to get those looked after."

Horatio gave a dismissive wave as he watched the orderlies push the gurney into the elevator. His main concern was for Jen.

" What's going to happen to her?" he asked as the elevator doors slid shut.

" We are going to keep her 72 hours for observation purposes, and if she seems to be getting better, we will release her. But if she doesn't, we will make steps to commit her to the psychiatric hospital . Are you her father or husband?", the doctor asked as an afterthought.

" No, I'm not , but she is like family. I want the best care for her. Anything necessary."

" We will do our best, sir. She will be on a suicide watch for the first twenty -four hours, so that means no visitors will be allowed. You are welcome to sit in the waiting room, if you like. If progress is made, we can let her have one visitor per hour. I stress the word if."

Horatio gazed at the doctor with uncertainty swimming through him. He knew that he had to tell Eric and Max what was going on, but he didn't want to leave her. He wanted to be there for her. He nodded at the doctor then placed his hands on his hips, delving deeper into his own thoughts.

Speaking quietly, he asked, " Is there a phone that I could use?"

" Just around the corner to the right, sir," the doctor instructed. Horatio took in the directions and started off .

" Thank you doctor. I'll be back shortly."

The doctor nodded as he turned and walked to the elevators, pushing the button. Horatio took in a deep breath and then let it escape noisily. He would first call Eric , then he would take care of himself.

TNR

Calleigh sat next to Max as they awaited news on Eric's condition. It was a flurry of motion when they entered the emergency room, Eric being swept away behind the doors instantly. Now all that was left for them to do was wait. Calleigh took Max's hand in hers and comforted the distraught woman, hoping to ease her fears. In all the years she had known Eric, she knew him as a fighter. There was no way that he was going to concede his life.

" Max, he's going to be fine," Calleigh intoned softly. She glanced up at Speed and Alexx who were sitting across from her and Max, seeing the toll this was taking on the both of them.

" I don't know what I would do if I lost him, Calleigh. This man is my life... and what about... Jen! Has anyone seen Jen?" Max burst out tearfully.

Calleigh looked to Alexx , who shrugged ,then back to Max. She didn't need another point of contention at a time like this.

" No, we haven't , but I'm sure if we call her, then we can let her know and she can come to the hospital," Calleigh said as she let go of Max's hand. She instinctively put her hand on her cell phone ,but then remembered that it was prohibited. " I'm going to go call her. I'll be right back, Max."

Calleigh got up and made her way to door, un clipping her phone as she went. As she stood outside the emergency room she looked out into the parking lot to see the familiar sight of his personal Hummer. Calleigh continued to concentrate on the Hummer as the phone rang and eventually went to Jen's voice mail. She left a quick message and then turned to go back into the waiting room. Her eyes lit on Maddison first, trying to decide if to tell her that Horatio was here, then they moved to Speed as he sat next to Alexx, looking very much in need of some comfort. She walked up to the group to report, just as the doctor came out of the door.

Max stood up with apprehension written all over her face, nervously twisting her fingers as he approached the team.

" Mrs.Delko?" the doctor asked as he flipped the chart open.

" Yes," replied Max as the tears began to well in her eyes, "what is it?"

" Mr. Delko suffered a mild heart attack. He's fine now, but he's pretty much out of it. I want him to rest tonight and maybe we can think about him going home tomorrow. I want you to start thinking of ways to keep him stress free. He was lucky this time that he had immediate help, but the next time, it may be worse. I want to prevent that," the doctor said as he gave her a reassuring smile. " Oh, by the way, I'm Dr. Ryan Westmoreland. I'm the attending cardiologist so if you have any questions, just feel free to ask me."

Maxine let out a controlled sigh as she extended her hand, and pumping it up and down furiously, " Thank you doctor so much."

" I'm glad that I can help. He'll be moved with in thirty minutes , to the second floor. I will allow some visitation, but I can't emphasize how important it is that he gets his rest," Dr.Westmoreland said as he regarded the rest with light smiles. He could tell that they were a close group of friends.

When he took his leave, Calleigh , Alexx and Maddison turned to Max, giving her hugs. Speed stood on the edge of this with small smile. He was glad that his best friend was going to be alright. The group of ladies dispersed and Maddison took Max to the bank of elevators, leaving the close knit CSIs alone. Calleigh looked into Speed's eyes, seeing the relief of the news, but the subtle hints of sadness that still lingered. She then glanced to Alexx, seeing the exact same and nodded her head slightly. These two were like peas in a pod.

As she watched Maddison and Max board the elevator, Calleigh leaned in and spoke in a hushed tone, " I think I saw Horatio's Hummer outside. Do you think something's happened to him?"

" You saw Horatio's Hummer?" Alexx asked as she glanced at Tim then back to Calleigh, "Are you sure?"

" There's no possible way that I could mistake it, Alexx. Horatio is somewhere in this hospital."

" He could be just visiting someone,"Speed rationalized. It had been a long time since Speed had seen or heard from his mentor, and he missed the connection with him.

" Somehow, I don't think so. And, I was unable to get Jen on her cell, and I haven't seen her all day. I'm worried," Calleigh stated.

Alexx placed a hand on Calleigh's forearm, " I'm sure she's okay, Calleigh. But it is odd that she hasn't been around. Tim, have you seen her?"

" I haven't , but I've noticed here lately that she has been distancing herself from everyone. I think that RJ's death has hit her hard. She barely speaks to me while we are in trace, and her work is starting to take a dive," Speed said as he looked between the two ladies. Both of them had a special place in his heart, and it warmed him to be in their presence. " I know depression when I see it."

" You think she's depressed?" Calleigh asked.

" I do, and I think that it is important that someone finds her before she does something drastic. I don't think Delko could handle that."

"Agreed," Calleigh said as she flipped her phone out again, heading for the door, " I'm going to call Jacinda to see if she's heard from Jen. I'll catch up to you guys."

Speed and Alexx both nodded as Calleigh disappeared through the door. Speed watched her go out of the door and maintained his gaze when he spoke to Alexx, " So are you going to tell me what's bothering you?"

Alexx looked up at him with a surprised look on her face, speechless. In all her years of knowing Timothy Speedle, not once did she experience this. She knew he cared about her , but he never gave voice to those cares , not in this sense.

"Timmy..."

"Alexx, I can see clearly that something is bothering you. You want to talk about it, or are you going to make like me and hold it in?" Speed asked as he looked down on her with a lopsided grin.

" Got a deal for you," Alexx said as she took his arm, " I talk, you talk."

"Alexx..."

" Tim, its this way or no way. We both have to have some kind of relief from this. So, deal?"

Speed sighed heavily as he glanced at the floor then back up to her, " Deal."

"Good, let's go get some coffee and talk then," Alexx returned as she started to walk, pulling him gently. He followed with a light smile on his face. It would be good to connect with someone again.

TNR

Rory sat down in front of her as Raymond stood behind in the corner. Jeanne Moore sat across from them, a look of desperation and worry over taking her. She was about forty, but her expressions and mannerisms gave her an older look, the long brown hair graying at the temples, doing nothing to enhance her. Her brown eyes seemed dull and vacant, devoid of any resemblance of life, and a permanent look of sorrow seemed etched upon her face. She was clearly a woman who had seen very hard times.

"Mrs. Moore," Rory said softly, breaking the silence in the room, " When's the last time you saw Shannon?"

" It was yesterday morning around eight. I went by her uncle's house to give her something's she needed for school. Why?"

" What did you do after that?" Raymond interjected.

" I- I went to work. Why are you asking me this?" Jeanne asked she glared between the two men.

" What kind of relationship did you have with your daughter Mrs.Moore?" Rory asked as he flipped open the folder.

" A loving one. Just because she didn't live with me doesn't mean that I didn't love her. I was able to see her whenever I wanted. It was her father that was the abusive one."

"Could he have done this?" Rory asked as he pulled out the photograph of Shannon. Jeanne put a hand to her mouth to stifle a cry as she stared at the picture. It was obvious to both Rory and Raymond that this was indeed her daughter..

" How– I- Oh my god, Shannon," Jeanne cried, " Who would do this? She was so young..."

Rory nodded and glanced at Raymond who brought a glass of water to the table and sat it in front of her.

" I was hoping that you could tell us, Mrs. Moore."

Jeanne took a huge gulp of water then closed her eyes as she fought to compose herself, " I - I don't know of anyone who would do this to her. She was an angel. She never crossed anyone."

" You said your husband was abusive. Did he ever hit Shannon?" Ray asked as he stood in the background. He searched the distraught woman for any signs of deception.

" No, his fury was focused on me mostly, but someone called Child protection services and they did an investigation. She was placed in her uncle's care. I have no other relatives."

" Where's is your husband now, Mrs. Moore? We are going to have to talk to him," Rory pointed out.

" He didn't do this," Jeanne stated simply.

" Mrs. Moore, we have to look at all angles here. There is a great possibility that he did do this," Rory returned as he gestured to the photos. " She was strangled bare handed. A man with rage could easily do this. Or a woman."

" What are you implying detective? That I killed my own daughter?" Jeanne questioned as she wiped her eyes with a tissue. " That's ridiculous. I loved her."

" I didn't say that. Where is your husband?" Rory asked, growing tired of this. It had been a long day and he was seeking some kind of break here.

" Peter couldn't have done this because he's locked up at the moment," Jeanne replied as she glared up at Raymond, then back to Rory.

" In jail? How long has he been in jail?" Raymond asked.

" For about four days now. He called me to ask if I would bail him out. You believe the nerve of that man? After what he put me through? I told him the hell with him," Jeanne spat.

Rory turned to Raymond and gave him a look, Raymond caught it and walked out of the door.

" Mrs. Moore, I need the address to your brother in law's house, and I ask that you don't go anywhere. We might need to talk to you again."

Jeanne nodded as she glanced once more down to the picture, her eyes finally overflowing with despair, " You find who did this to my little girl, detective."

Rory looked at her with determination, " We are going to try our best, Mrs. Moore."

" You do that," she replied as she got up from the table and walked out of the room. Moments later, Jacinda walked in, with a small smile on her face.

" What is so funny? Two possible suspect have been eliminated and two more have yet to be found."

" Mrs. Moore's alibi has to be verified and you have all the information you need to continue. You did good newbie," Jacinda said with a smirk.

"Thanks for the confidence booster," Rory responded as he heard Jacinda's phone ring. Jacinda picked it up and smiled at the sound of her mother's voice.

"Mom, how's Uncle Eric?"

" He's fine, hon. He suffered a mild heart attack, and he's resting now."

"That's good, mom. We just got through talking to the mother, she made a positive id and eliminated the father . He's in jail."

"So we look at other people in her life," Calleigh responded. She didn't want to worry Jacinda about Jen , but she had to be found . " Jacinda, have you seen or heard from Jen?"

"Jen? No, not since the Moore case. Why?"

" I can't get her on the cell, and she really needs to know about her father," Calleigh replied. It hit Jacinda like a brick when she thought about the last time she saw her friend. She closed her eyes and put a hand on her forehead.

" Mom, I think Jen's in trouble."

"What makes you say that Jacinda? Did you talk to her today?" Calleigh asked , feeling the fear rise inside of her.

" No, it's just this look that I saw her with. It's one that I've never seen before. Never. And coupled with that the fact that she hasn't been herself since Robert died... Mom, I just hope that she hasn't done anything yet!", Jacinda exclaimed as she pulled the door out, narrowly missing Rory.

" Hey! Watch it!" Rory said as he deflected the door with his arm. " You are going to kill someone."

Jacinda put a hand to her mouth then moved to cover the phone with it, whispering, " I'm sorry."

" It's fine, Jacinda. What's up?"

Jacinda put a finger up to hold him as she listened to her mother on the other end, then responding, " We are just about to finish here. I'm going to go look for her."

" Jacinda..."

"No, mom, she's my friend and I haven't been there for her when she needed me, so I feel responsible for this. I'll call you if I find out anything."

Calleigh conceded remembering that her blood ran through her veins as well, " Well alright, Jacinda, but be careful."

" I will mom," Jacinda returned as she flipped the phone down. She then turned to Rory with a glint in her eyes, " Are you doing anything tonight?"

Rory smirked broadly and shook his head, " No, but I can bet that you have something planned. Am I right?"

" Correct. We are going on a little hunt. Are you game?"

" More than ever," Rory replied as he walked away with her.

Raymond appeared with a folder in his hand, leafing through it as he pushed his way into the interrogation room. When he looked up, he saw the room empty. Shaking his head, he flipped the folder down and turned to walk back out the door. The file would be waiting for them when they returned.

TBC...

A/N: I'm really trying to catch this up, so forgive me if it seems a trite contrived. I am trying though.


	9. Chapter 9

The New Recruits: Cha Cha Changes

Chapter 9

Calleigh had finished with her phone call, when she entered the emergency bay again, her intentions on getting to Eric's room. Her intentions were short lived when she saw the fiery red hair. His back was turned to her, but she could clearly see that it was Horatio. Barely containing her smile, she walked over to him and lightly tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and she was taken by the scratches on his face, gasping at the sight of him.

" Oh my word, Horatio, what happened?" she asked with a hand to her mouth.

" It's nothing, Calleigh. What are you doing here? Is everything alright?"

" You look like you got into a fight with a cat, and the cat won."

Horatio smirked lightly at the southern beauty and shrugged his shoulders, replying, " You didn't answer my question, Calleigh. What are you doing here?"

Calleigh's demeanor changed when she thought about the reason why she was here and she moved closer to Horatio as if revealing some secret, " It's Eric. He's had a mild heart attack. The doctor says that he's going to be fine, but he needs a lot of rest."

" A heart attack?" Horatio responded in a whisper. " When did this happen?"

" This afternoon, close to shift change. Tim found him on the floor of the fingerprinting lab and started CPR. He saved his life."

Horatio began to put two and two together and glanced at the floor in thought. Jen must've been talking to her father when he had the heart attack. Suddenly, it hit him that he had to let Eric know that Jen was okay.

"Calleigh, what floor is he going to?"

" The second. Maddison and Max are already up there, and Tim and Alexx are on their way,"Calleigh returned as Horatio moved into action. She followed him through the corridors, striving to keep up the pace. "You know, everyone has been wondering where you went off to. We've missed you."

Horatio stopped walking and turned to look at Calleigh, his regrets resurfacing. He knew that he had abandoned them in their time of need, but his guilt clouded that realization. His eyes remained focused on Calleigh as his body sagged slightly. He knew it was time to face them.

"I'm sorry, Calleigh. There were things that I had to deal with by myself, and I couldn't face Speed or Raymond. I was to blame for their deaths. I was the reason."

" Horatio, you cannot blame yourself for what happened to Yelina or RJ... You had no hand in this, they died because of some maniac's actions, not yours."

" I wonder if Speed or Raymond feels that way," Horatio said quietly as he broke his gaze. It had finally came out, and he felt vulnerable at his admittance .

" They are more worried about you. You up and disappeared on us, Horatio. No one knew what to think ," Calleigh said as she saw him begin to move. She stepped in front of him and glared at him. " I'm not letting you go until you realize that no one is blaming you ."

"Calleigh, I have... I have to go tell Eric something," Horatio returned with sadness in his voice. He knew that Calleigh was right, he had to give up the idea that he was the sole blame for the missing people in their lives, now more so than ever, because someone else needed him now.

" Horatio,..."

" I understand , Calleigh. I have to start thinking about those who are still here," Horatio stated as he glanced at her, a small twinkling coming from them. Calleigh smiled, apparently happy with what she saw. She sidestepped and allowed Horatio to pass. When they got to the elevator, Calleigh stepped in first, then Horatio.

As they rode in silence, Calleigh turned to him and said, " Glad to see you again Horatio."

Horatio nodded and let a small smile appear on his face. He was glad to be among the living once more.

TNR

Alexx handed Speed the cup of coffee as she sat down and smiled at him. It had been a long time since she had actually sat down with him and talked. It was something that she held close to her, the relationship that they had, and she wanted it to continue to thrive, especially now, when he was in need of it. Her smile faded some when she thought about her godson, and the potential he had. His death was something that had shaken Alexx to the core, and she had a hard time recovering from it. Meanwhile, Timmy was paying the price of her weakness. Now was the time to get it out.

Speed gazed into the cup of steaming liquid losing himself in memories of his son, his family. Since RJ's death and Robin's absence, his life had stopped. Nothing else had mattered to him, least of all the relationships that he had with his friends. Now as he sat in front of his dearest friend, he began to realize what a huge mistake it was to shut them out.

Alexx cleared her throat and looked up at him, feeling the tears as they approached her lids. This was something entirely new to her, speaking about herself, and she didn't know how to start, but her voice came anyway, and she found herself speaking through the tears that started to fall.

"Tim, first I want to start by saying , I'm sorry..."

"Alexx, there's nothing for you to be sorry about," Speed interrupted. She put a hand up to silence him and he obeyed.

" I hadn't been there when you needed me. At the most devastating part of your life, I was unable to help you, mainly because of my overwhelming grief over losing RJ myself. I felt like there was so much that I could've done. Something that I could've said. But instead ,I did nothing. And in doing nothing, we lost someone so important to us. But you lost more than that, Timmy. Not only did you lose your son, but your wife and daughter. All of this because of what I couldn't do."

"Alexx, there was nothing that you could've done. Robert was just like me, impulsive ,passionate. It was what made him who he was. There was nothing anyone of us could've done to keep his destiny away from him. As bad as it sounds, Alexx, there was a reason for his death. I can't quite put my hand on it, but there was," Speed said as he placed a comforting hand on hers." It's taking me some time, but I'm learning to deal with it , and I still have a way to go. But as long as I have you and others around me to talk, then I think that I'm going to be okay."

Alexx smiled at him as she wiped her tears away, " It seems as if I needed this talk more than you did Timmy."

" No, I think we just needed to connect again. I can tell you that it's been hard on me with out Robin. I miss her so much. It's true that you never know what you have until it's gone. I never knew how much Robin meant to me until I lost her."

" Don't you think that you can find your way back to her again, Tim? I don't think that she is that unreasonable."

"She's already filing for divorce and moving back to England. I think that time has come and gone."

" You shouldn't give up on those you love , Timmy. She's worth fighting for. Your marriage is worth fighting for," Alexx said as she smiled at him. She had already began to feel a thousand times better.

" That's all well and good , Alexx, but how am I supposed to fight for her if she won't listen to me? Every since Robert died, she's had nothing to do with me. She hates me," Speed returned as he lowered his head.

Alexx lifted his chin and looked him in the eyes, " That woman loves you with all her heart, Tim. You of all people should know how grief can change people. It's up to you to make that change for the better. Are you going to just let her walk out of your life? You can't, not when there is still so much love there. Call her, Tim. Let her know how you feel."

" I 've tried that Alexx! She shoots me down every time."

" Try it with your heart and not your mind, Tim. Talk to her from here," Alexx responded as she put a hand to his chest. " I guarantee that you will get further if you do that. Trust me, honey."

Speed nodded and took a drink of the coffee. He then looked up at Alexx and saw that her demeanor had changed through the course of their talk. She now resembled the Alexx that he had grown to love over the years. The woman who had been more of a mother to him than his own.

" So, you are feeling better?" he asked.

" Tons. Now that we got that out, there's one more thing," she said as she sipped the last of the warm liquid.

" What's that?"

" Time for you to stop making like Grizzly Adams and lose the beard. Half the time, I don't recognize you until you speak. Shave , Timmy."

" So you are telling me that you don't like the new look?" he asked in a mocking tone.

" I prefer the old one better, and so do many others. It's scary."

"Alright, alright , I got the point. I'll shave as soon as I get home."

"Oh and we are going to have a talk about your grandchild when we get a chance," Alexx said as she got up from the table.

"How did you find out?" Speed asked as he glanced at her in surprise. There was no way she could've known, no one had talked.

" When have you ever known me not to know what's going on with you?" she asked as she stopped midway to the trash can.

" Never."

"Exactly, and I don't see that changing anytime soon," she quipped as she walked to the door. "I've got to make a phone call, Timmy. I'll be right up."

Speed smiled as she walked out the door and nodded his head. It was wonderful to have that connection again.

* * *

Alexx dialed the number with her intentions steady. If it was the last thing she did, she would see him happy once more. Putting the phone to her ear, she heard the sounds of the ringing, then the voice as it answered on the third ring. 

" Hello?" an accent came.

Alexx smiled to herself and spoke lightly, " Robin, it's Alexx. We need to talk."

TBC...

A/N: So now ends another installment to The New Recruits. There will of course be a new one in the coming weeks. So stay tuned!


End file.
